Life

The Importance of Self-Care: Why You Should Pamper Yourself

You probably already have a catalog of reasons why you shouldn’t spend time only for yourself:  I have too much on my plate. I don’t deserve a reward. I’m on a diet.  I’m on a budget. And probably the most common excuse:  I have to take care of everyone else before I take care of myself.

Guess what?  You should pamper yourself.  Before you disagree, know that we are not advocating overindulgence.  If you always give in to your impulses, the rewards stop feeling like rewards. Instead, what should have been a pleasure becomes a “guilty” pleasure, and guilt should not be associated with self-care.  True self-care is a short-term investment that pays off long-term, and benefits both you and those around you.

Here are the top reasons pampering yourself should be the next thing on your “to-do” list:

• You’re not you when you’re stressed.  When you’re stressed, you’re unhappy – and those close to you may find themselves tiptoeing around you.  Find a way to melt away the stress, and not only will you be pleased with yourself, but those around you will appreciate it, too!

• Fill your cup.  Imagine you’re an empty cup.  You want to pour time and energy into the people around you, but you have nothing to give.  Pampering yourself can “fill up your cup” for the purpose of giving back to others.

• Mindfulness and well-being.  Studies show that a healthy mind can improve physical health.  The occasional indulgence may improve anxiety and depression, which are common obstacles people face as they try to pursue healthy habits.

Need some inspiration?  Here are a few fantastic ways to treat yourself — even if you’re watching your diet or your bank account!

• Check out.  It’s okay to immerse yourself in entertainment that provides absolutely no mental stimulation.  Get your Netflix on, add pajamas, a multilayered box of assorted chocolates, and for a few hours you can forget about the challenges of adulthood.

• Feel the love.  Human touch can be tremendously comforting, and massages can provide this.  A massage is also linked to numerous health benefits including better circulation, lower blood pressure, and stronger immune function.  Massages can be pricey, but even an amateur shoulder rub from a friend can do the trick. Otherwise, there are plenty of resources and even tools to perform a self-massage, completely free!

Self-care is important for you and those around you.  The occasional surrender to something fun and completely unessential is a part of what makes life worth living!  Whether you use pampering as a reward or you just need your spirits lifted, give yourself permission to spoil yourself from time to time.  Your mind and your body will thank you!

Though emotional intelligence does not measure intelligence in the same way that an intelligence quotient (IQ) test does, it can be just as revealing about certain aspects of a person’s personality. Such intelligence can be measured by calculating the ability model, which analyzes a person’s emotional information processing abilities and recommends ways in which they could improve their social navigation accordingly. There are marked benefits to this type of self-analysis. People with higher levels of emotional intelligence demonstrate stronger mental health, leadership skills, and overall job performance. The link between the two comes from the ability to read people’s emotions, and by better understanding one’s own mind and feelings.

For many, this is easier said than done. While people often know when they are feeling happy, angry, excited, or sad, they are frequently less successful at understanding their more complex emotions, and cannot employ or comprehend such high-level complexity. Once these skills have been attained, however, a person can quickly become capable of managing their emotions, and harnessing them in productive ways. The easiest way to assess a person’s base level of emotional intelligence is to solve a series of accepted problems using emotion-based logic. These problems are taken from the Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test, which is not designed to be a hard test to solve. In fact, there are no “correct” responses. Instead, the score is calculated by comparing a person’s responses to the most popular response to the question. Once a person has taken the test, available online from several different resources, they will receive customized feedback on areas in which they can improve. With this guidance in mind, learners can understand how to adapt their own emotions and react to others’ emotions in more positive ways.

For students and children, one of the most applicable uses of emotional intelligence is during instances of bullying. Studies show that children with lower levels of emotional intelligence often bully others in order to let out excess anger and frustration. While this reaction is not constructive, the good news is that it can be corrected. Children who are easily upset can learn the practices of emotional intelligence to control their aggressive responses toward other children, and channel them into more positive outlets. Similarly, this way of using emotional intelligence to become one’s best self can be as equally as useful for adults as well.

Seeing as certain tenets of emotional intelligence include empathy, sincerity, and compassion, adults with higher levels of emotional intelligence are more likely to be in healthier relationships. Because of their ability to control emotional outbursts, they are less inclined to vent frustration on an undeserving partner, or say something in the heat of the moment that they might later regret. Basically, partners with high levels of emotional intelligence likely know how to “fight right.” They can communicate their own thoughts and feelings freely and easily, without emotionally wounding the other partner. Subsequently, their conversations are more constructive, and are much more focused on problem-solving, as opposed to blaming or name calling.

Another positive application of emotional intelligence is in the area of self-control. Individuals with higher levels of emotional intelligence are significantly less likely to develop problems with drug or alcohol addiction. While this might seem a likely correlation without causation, research shows that individuals with higher emotional intelligence are better at self-diagnosing the root cause of their distress, and can help themselves work through that emotion without resorting to harmful or illegal self-medication. More commonly, the same principle applies to eating healthily. Individuals with higher amounts of emotional intelligence are more likely to make health-conscious decisions when grocery shopping or eating out, as they can evaluate and redirect their unhealthy cravings.

These principles and applications of emotional intelligence are just the beginning, and can be put into practice at any age. For parents who want to instill these same values and skills in their children, emotional intelligence is an excellent starting point. Children who grow up and learn to improve their emotional intelligence will have a markedly easier time getting along with their peers. Later in life, these same children will accumulate leadership skills and opportunities more easily, which will eventually translate into better job performance. While children who learn to cultivate their emotional intelligence early in life generally have an easier time of applying this skill, emotional intelligence can be learned at any time. So, when considering ways to truly become your best self, start with your emotional intelligence for a lifetime of successful interactions with others.

There is a popular story circulating about a time when musician John Lennon was a boy and he was asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”. Instead of answering with the expected firefighter, police officer, or doctor, young Lennon proudly proclaimed, “Happy!”. Today, many of us can relate to this outlook and in the grand scheme of things, we just want to be happy in life. Thankfully, with a little mindfulness, there are ways we can become a happier person.

For more information, scroll through the following best ways to become a happier person:

Be present.

It’s no secret that many of us are always running from appointment to appointment and never get a chance to disconnect from work, friends, or emails. To be happy, we need to slow down, take a breath, and be aware of what’s happening now. Take a moment to notice the color of the sky, our child’s toothless grin, and enjoy the song playing on the radio.

Reflect.

Take time to be in touch with ourselves and why we do, what we do. Our “why” matters, because it affects everything ranging from our group of friends to our inability to stop overeating. Understanding why we do things can help us focus more clearly and help us find ways to get the results and happiness we desire. Set aside a few minutes everyday to reflect, meditate, practice yoga, or journal to find our true motivations, desires, needs, and dreams.

Eat to be happy.

One easy way to boost our happiness is to be mindful of what we consume and how we fuel our bodies. If our bodies are lacking essential vitamins, minerals, and nutrients it is difficult to feel well, which affects our happiness. Also, levels of some vitamins, like B12, and nutrients, like alpha-linolenic acid, can affect our moods and happiness. Strive to intake foods that are full of mood boosting properties, such as: clams, walnuts, dark chocolate, flax seed, coffee, radishes, oysters, pomegranate, yogurt, kefir, and shiitake mushrooms.

Avoid comparing yourself to others.

One of the biggest hurdles to being a happier person, is falling into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. This is especially true in the age of social media when we are constantly viewing the seemingly picture perfect lives of our friends, family, and acquaintances online. These moments of feeling envious can lead to greater stress, anxiety, depression, and self-defeating choices. It’s important we remind ourselves that we are enough and that everyone, even those who appear perfect, are struggling with something.

Pamper yourself.

Relaxing is essential to happiness and it doesn’t matter how, as long as you take time to pamper yourself. Consider taking a long bath, creating a home spa, going for a run, getting a pedi with a friend, listening to relaxing music, or reading a book. Simply rewarding yourself is a great way to boost self esteem and happiness levels.

Nurture your passions.

Think back to what brought you joy as a child and revisit those activities. Maybe you enjoyed painting, riding horses, working with animals, writing, or ice skating? Whatever it was, take a cue from your inner child and do the things that made you happy to rekindle those same feelings today.

Forgive.

We need to give ourselves permission to bury old grudges and forgive people who have hurt us. While many of us assume this is for the other person, forgiving is beneficial for our mental health and physical well being. It’s difficult, but give yourself permission not to dwell on anger, hurt, or vengeance. This will allow us to focus our energies on being happy.

Control your reactions and choose happiness.

This frame of mind will help us in those moments, you know the ones where you want to scream or cry. While we can’t control the world happening around us, we do have the choice to rise above or let it beat us down. If someone at work is bothering you, you get a flat tire, or you are having a disagreement with a friend, step back a moment and don’t give these events the power to derail your day or mood.

Think positive.

For years, experts have all been proclaiming the benefits of positive thinking. However, being positive on a daily basis can be difficult. To build a little more positivity in our lives, we need to be kind to ourselves, grateful, adaptable, and optimistic. Take this one step farther by surrounding ourselves with positive people, sending positive vibes out to others, being grateful for our blessings, and looking for the silver lining in our everyday lives.

What tips can you share for becoming a happier person?